During his campaign, Trump promised to make America great again. However, since being elected, his attention has been on anything but America or Americans.

His new interests include buying Canada, imposing tariffs, starting wars, and election interference. To make America great again, wouldn’t it make more sense to pay some attention to Americans?

For example, if I wanted to make my bathroom great again, I would clean my bathroom and maybe put some flowers on the counter. Perhaps a little potpourri.

I wouldn’t start regularly threatening my neighbours or guests that I would soon start charging $25 to use my bathroom.

It seems to me that even occasionally implementing plans that involve Americans would go a long way in making America again.

So today I present to you fivr things Trump would rather do than run America.

1.  Anything really

It actually doesn’t matter what the other thing is, as long as it’s not running the country that elected him to run the country. You could just google “Things to do” right now and you’d find something he’d rather do. Don’t get all fancy now and google things to do in Vegas or things to do in New York. Just google things to do, and you’ll find something he’d rather do than run America.

2. Threaten to buy other countries.

Immediately after taking office, he began threatening to annex Canada. This is just beyond weird and nowhere in his campaigning did he mention to anyone, “Oh by the way, I’m planning to invade Canada.”

3. Impose tariffs that harm your own people.

Trump seems to think that tariffs are a magic wand that can fix all of America’s economic problems. They are not. If you want to fix financial problems, here’s a little technique. I learned it at a business school called, “I have a pulse.” Here it is: If you want to fix financial problems, don’t do it in a way that creates more financial problems. Just a little hint.

4. Get on your knees every single day and beg for attention by making the most outlandish claims you can come up.

Whatever can get you into the newspaper will always take priority over running the actual country you were elected to run.  If you were elected, president of new buzzes at BuzzFeed, this would be fine. But you weren’t elected president of new buzzes at BuzzFeed. You were elected President of the United States of America. So, it’s not OK. 

5. Send out plans for a war with Yemen.

Did even a single person who voted for you vote for you because you told them you were planning to attack Yemen?  What on earth does attacking Yemen have to do with improving the lives of Americans?  Do you have any regard at all for your own people?

Can you even look at them? Can you look Americans in the eye? Do you love them at all? Or is this just the on-location-from-the-white house version of your new reality show that we all have to watch?

I will just end this by saying, “People of America, I feel you. I have lived next door to you peacefully for almost 40 years. I am so sorry that you have to be going through this madness for the next four years.”

The person you have elected to lead the country is completely uninterested in leading the country.

Instead of helping Americans, it would not surprise me if he next turns his attention to something to do with space. Don’t blink an eye if he starts talking about tariffs on mars-red dirt or attacking mars or some other thing that has zero relevance to Americans.

He may also waste some more time drafting an immigration policy for space aliens entering the U.S. 

Alternatively, he could focus on mobilizing resources to haul red dirt from mars. Then charge imaginary enemies in space tariffs on the incoming shipments.

Don’t even blink an eye or appear shocked when this happens. I did warn you.

Also, two years into the presidency, he may get bored with not making America great again. Watch out for new legislation that would allow a sitting president to appear on Dancing With The Stars.

I’ve seen enough of his chaos machine, and there is nothing that he could do that would surprise me.

Right now, it looks like the second term playbook has 5 words.

Anything but focus on helping Americans.

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